im really sorry, mum

there is a very big problem going on between me and my mum, or perhaps it has been there years ago. i really think im childish, immature, unreasonable, insensible, demanding ... at times, or maybe at all times.

she is extremely worried about me, repeating my Os and yet not looking nor treating it seriously. yes, im worried as well. i tried, i swear with my whole heart, i really tired. believe in me. not all things appear as it is. i must admit i studied, i played, i fooled around. i did everything with my heart's utmost.

so she thinks that i m happy over snatching the TV? but i dunno.. okay it is partly my fault. i threw my temper, i threw the plates, i banged hard on the table. i just want what i want. but i get really irritated when you dont listen to me, sometimes you just scream when things dont go in your way. (those words hurt) in the end, you will just give in and let me rule my world. maybe i have been relying on this route to the solution of all problem. this is not the solution. but this is the way to make me get what i want.

im really sorry, i always blame you for everything around me. (maybe it is background that you gave that make me throw all the blames on you) i think i had never cherished you but i really love you from the deep of my heart. i will try to change.